Suggestions for Protecting Your Mind While Doing Comedy - Ep #22

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Jen deHaan: Comedy, improv,

performance, it can all take a toll

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on neurodivergent minds, especially.

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It's really important to protect our

brains while doing comedy, especially when

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we're so prone to being misunderstood and

mistreated in other parts of our lives.

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You deserve compassion and respect,

no matter where you are with either

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your mental health or your neurotype.

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This episode includes some suggestions

for how to approach keeping your

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mind safe while practicing comedy.

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They're ones I specifically use to check

in in times of raw stress and difficulty.

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Have you had difficult times in comedy?

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If so, keep listening.

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Welcome to episode 22 of

Neurodivergent Minds in Comedy.

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I'm Jenda Hahn, and I'm an autistic

and ADHD performer who is about to

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info dump all over you about the

intersection of comedy and reality.

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And neurodivergence.

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These episodes are intended to help

all humans of all neurotypes, since

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neurodivergent and neurotypical

humans do comedy together

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every day, all over the place.

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Before we get started though, real quick.

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I am only speaking for myself and my

own lived experience in these episodes.

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This is an N of 1.

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Everyone's experiences are very

different based on both their

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neurotype and their unique lived

experiences and support needs.

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My ideas in these episodes

and any information I share

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won't be right for everyone.

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The words I use and the things I

do are just my own experiences, my

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own preferences, what works for me.

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Adjust or ignore anything

that's not right for you.

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People using this podcast.

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And finally, these points are

explanations, not excuses.

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No one can change how we're wired or

how we're raised, but we can do the work

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to understand ourselves better and work

with that knowledge the best that we can.

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This article for this episode, the, it is

unlocked for the community because this

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one felt like I should just do that thing.

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And it's also the one year anniversary

of the podcast to the website.

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Yay.

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So if you want to read this in words

or share those written words, we With

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other people in the community, you can

do so today at neurodiversityimprov.

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com.

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The link will be in the show notes

and also just look for episode 22.

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It should be pretty easy to find.

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And with that all out of the way.

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Let's get started.

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This episode will give some general

suggestions to comedians, especially the

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neurodivergent ones, to protect their,

our minds while engaging in comedy and

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with other people in this community.

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I suspect a lot of it will apply

to non comedy spaces as well,

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because I am drawing from my

experience and observations in a

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variety of comedy and non comedy

communities that I have been in.

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These suggestions are not always a

commentary on my personal experience

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though, so don't read into anything.

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I'm sharing some stuff I've heard about

and experienced in completely different

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crafts and professional spaces as

well, but it's all related to comedy.

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It's all being seen

through the lens of comedy.

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For example, A special shout

out to those of us existing as

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non cishet white men in tech.

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There's lots of parallels

there to improv, for example.

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That's for sure.

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But to be clear, no hate here for cishet

white men, some of whom have been some

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of the most supportive to me of any

demographic when the hard shit happens.

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Just that our communities generally

need more diversity in the voices,

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in comedy, and in all of improv.

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And actual meaningful support for

those voices doing the work, not just

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saying that you do that thing, but

actually supporting the diverse voices.

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So I'm not angry, not at all.

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Make em ups isn't worth the

stress and hit on my health.

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To hold that anger, so I don't, but we

still need more voices, more support.

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So I'm writing some suggestions

about protecting ourselves in this

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space, so that we, we the others,

can have more of a much deserved

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and necessary voice in comedy.

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To have a seat at whatever

tables are out there.

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So this is me observing, listening,

sharing what I've learned, In trying to

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take care of myself, and trying to avoid

viral infections, and I'm spending time

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with two kittens called Shortstack and Dr.

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Crepes to take care of myself.

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You can see their photo

in the written article.

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You can find the link in the show notes.

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Anyways, about The

forthcoming suggestions.

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I think it's important to make the

kinds of observations I'm making

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in this episode and just to check

in on yourself from time to time.

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I'm doing this regularly myself

and I think that it helps to do so.

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So I thought I'd share what I do.

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I mean, why not?

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If it's helpful to people.

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Checking in on yourself in whatever

spaces you're participating in, I

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think is good for mental health.

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And most days mine is pretty crap.

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So it's important that the things

that we love, the things that are

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supposed to help us don't contribute

to messing up mental health.

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And if it does do that, if it

does mess it up, do whatever you

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can to stop that from happening.

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Even if you have to pivot out of that

space that's making that thing happen.

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Some important notes about the

10 suggestions I'm about to make.

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Some of these suggestions might

contradict themselves, or they might

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leave out really important points.

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This is all really confusing stuff.

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It's highly personal, highly unique,

and in this case is sort of limited to

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one person's experience in brain wiring.

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So, I heartily welcome you to add your

own observations about these suggestions,

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or your own suggestions, in the comments.

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You can do this anonymously if

you want, from like a throwaway

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account, that's perfectly fine.

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Whatever.

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Is the most comfortable

thing for you to do.

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Some of these suggestions might sound

like I'm telling you to run away from

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issues, but I am not advocating that.

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And I'm not suggesting that we

avoid addressing problems in comedy.

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Quite the opposite.

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These suggestions involve sticking

within your community, but empowering

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yourself whilst doing so by forming,

say, new projects or outlets or

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something else like that as an option.

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Or while addressing the problematic

stuff, if that's even applicable.

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And, as always, all of these

suggestions are not universal.

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Lots of nuance.

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All ten, they are suggestions from

an autistic brain, even though

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they are not worded as such.

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These are worded like demands,

because it's what I ask of

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myself, what I use to check in.

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Demands on myself.

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But they are not demands for you.

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So take a suggestion, if you think

it's helpful and applies to you.

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Ignore it, if it doesn't.

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And as always, don't replace this

article or the site for working with

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a professional if you need to do so.

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You deserve compassion and respect,

no matter where you are with either

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your mental health or your neurotype.

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So, here are 10 suggestions for

taking care of yourself in comedy.

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Suggestion 1.

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Be yourself and don't compromise on it.

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Accept yourself.

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Be true to yourself.

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Be honest with yourself.

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Can you do comedy without having

to change yourself much or at all,

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just to fit in and feel accepted?

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If something doesn't feel right or

good about the type of comedy you're

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practicing, or you need to be someone

else to be accepted, respected, and

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participate in it, see if you can do

something else somewhere else in your

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practice, or some other type of comedy,

or maybe something comedy adjacent,

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or another creative pursuit entirely.

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I'm giving you permission.

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It's okay to leave or step away from a

class, a team, a performance, a community

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or theater, even a whole art form.

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If it's not working for you, if

it's not respecting you or not

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accepting you as you, more on that,

but you can step away at any time.

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If the activity is not bringing you

at least some sense of positivity

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for whatever reason you started

doing it in the first place, or

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whatever you discovered along the

way, the thing that was your passion.

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Doing that activity, such as

improv or stand up or podcasting,

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should bring value to your life.

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We have limited days, a very finite time

here on earth, so don't spend that time

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on what's usually or mostly a hobby.

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A hobby that costs you money and

time and sometimes even hard labor.

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If it's just bringing you pain?

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Just there are many other hobbies

that we can try instead that are

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actually beneficial and relaxing to

our brains Heck if even if it isn't

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a hobby for you, it should still at

least be benefit you in some way.

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So find your space and

prioritize the good.

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If you're neurodivergent, this might

mean finding a space, a team, a task,

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or a type of comedy that is safe

enough to unmask and just be yourself.

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You're supposed to enjoy comedy,

not be abused or exploited by it.

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If you don't benefit Bend yourself

to the point of almost breaking.

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And like I mentioned before, you can

always leave a class, a team, a show.

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You can ask for a refund.

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You can avoid an unsupportive

organization and so on.

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You can do these things to

support other comedians, too.

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You don't need to stay in

the environment and suffer.

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Vote for what you want to see

with your wallet or your time.

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I'm sure I'll say

something like this again.

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And this isn't running away

or not confronting a problem.

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That's good too, if you're willing

and able to take that burden

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on, hopefully with the support

of other people in that space.

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More specifically about

that in suggestion seven.

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And I kind of, I touch upon it in

several of the other suggestions as well.

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But prioritize beneficial people,

beneficial activities, and spaces in

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your life that support you as you.

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Advocate if you can, or try to find

an activity or space that does, or

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form the coaching group, the writer's

room, the class, or the team yourself.

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It might be easier than you think.

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Suggestion 2.

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Take care of yourself first for others.

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You should do comedy for you first.

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Even though comedy can be a team

or a group activity, it's important

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to take care of yourself first.

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And this isn't selfish to do.

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Taking care of yourself is doing

improv or comedy for others.

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It benefits your team, your

community, and your creativity too.

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If you don't enjoy what you're doing, What

you are doing in the moment, you might

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be doing it for validation from others.

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That external validation, like validation

from the art form or the project itself.

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More about what this

means in Suggestion 9.

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And if you're looking for that external

validation, it might never make you happy.

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And not being happy means you might not be

showing up as your best for others either.

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But more importantly, showing up

for your own brain and yourself.

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So it's okay and good to do your own

project, to direct or produce your own

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show, to create your own practice groups,

your own writer's rooms or classes even,

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to say set up a rotating or defined roles

on a team or in a project to set that up.

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You don't need to do these next

things in order to be successful.

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You don't need to follow

the ideology or the system.

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You don't need to climb and impress

the social ranks in the community.

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You don't need to be in the popular show

or sit at the cool table after a set.

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You don't need to create something

that others think is neat.

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You just want to create something

that you think is neat yourself.

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You don't need to be someone

or something that you're not.

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So help out others.

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Be in the project without the roles if

you want, or be in someone else's thing.

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It's really fun, but it's also okay to

do your own shit or to organize teams

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in a unique or new to you way or new to

the community way, however and whatever

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works, whatever is best for everyone

there, and that includes you too.

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So be creative.

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Make those suggestions, talk.

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If you are doing the work, it's

not selfish to have an ask, to

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have your own project you manage,

how you want to, or to direct the

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team's show if everyone's on board.

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If you are doing the work, you can own

or manage that work so the laborer has

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the best chance at success sometimes.

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Just make sure To communicate clearly

and discuss if other people are involved.

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So everyone is on the same page and that

means they can agree or adjust or opt out

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themselves or move on themselves, etc.

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And if it's your own project, keep

an open mind and try other people's

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ideas that will work with your vision.

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And sometimes it can make

that vision even better.

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Supporting yourself is supporting others.

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And it's supporting the

team, if there's a team.

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Supporting yourself is

supporting the scene and the set.

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I think that this is part of a

great way, of many ways, to help

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create a healthier comedy community.

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Suggestion 3.

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Yeah.

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Find your joy source,

but be open to pivoting.

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Find what you like to do in comedy.

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What practice, what format,

what style works for your brain.

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Think about how you prefer

to think and communicate.

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What type of comedy lets you

be honest and show up as you.

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The right comedy for you might not be

the first type you try, or it might

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be the right thing for you to do.

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Is outside of comedy entirely.

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Is it drama, animation,

writing, voice work?

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Dog walking, naps, go find

your humans, what meshes with

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your brain and makes it flow.

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Go to where the people get you.

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These creative skills are pretty

transferable, so don't be afraid to

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just try something out and see how the

skills apply to that new thing, the

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skills that you've already built up.

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So trying new things.

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I know it's hard to try

something that's different.

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It's hard to start something

new or to leave a community even

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partially or temporarily, but finding

something better and more aligned

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to your values can be worth it.

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So those finite days remember, and you

can always go back fully or partially

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with a fresh perspective and more skills.

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It's a healthy thing to do.

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I came to improv from dance fitness

teaching and community theater.

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There's lots of overlap with

improv in these communities

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and learning and performance.

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I go back to it in a heartbeat if I

could actually, but the point here

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is making the pivot wasn't quite

as hard as I Thought it would be.

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In fact, when I started improv, I

didn't observe the skill overlap.

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I didn't even understand

it for at least a year.

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And when I did the skills suddenly

transferred and it felt great.

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So search to find that joy

and hold on when you find it.

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And if one day it seems

to disappear, assess.

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Pivot, get out of there, even

if it's just for a while to

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find yourself and take a breath.

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You don't need to keep doing

the joyless thing, and you can

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always return later to try again.

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This is so important for me.

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Re evaluate often and don't be afraid

to make changes if you need to for your

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health or to find or reignite a passion.

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Suggestion four, find

the humans who value you.

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And the ones who don't

compete with your passion.

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We often don't feel accepted as

autistic humans, for example.

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It's important to find

the people who value you.

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For you.

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As you.

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Not the ones who only value you for your

talents, not the ones who only value

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you for what you can maybe do for them.

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Not the ones who only value you

for your work ethic or your output.

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The ones who value just

you for you, the human.

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That's what you're looking for.

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Those who accept you are often humans who

share your values in an understanding of

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the community, probably in a social sense.

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This was abundantly true for me

in the dance fitness instructor

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community, for example.

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We vastly differed on why

we were doing the activity.

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Find people who share your why.

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And keep your circles open when you

spot other humans who share similar

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values, and welcome them in if you can.

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There's a yes but involved.

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I'm no expert on this.

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I'm often on the outside looking in

or from the fringe edge of the edge of

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multiple spaces, multiple, you know,

friend circles or groups or whatever.

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Always hoping deep down to

be accepted into that circle.

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I think it's the autistic

experience for many of us.

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So I want to say here, though, I don't

want Pity, nor do I want any pity at

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all, like I just don't want, I think

it's quite comforting and beneficial

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to at least be aware of this though,

because if you aren't it's easy to, you

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know, just make yourself useful to try

to get accepted into these spaces and

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that's a fast path to being exploited.

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See suggestion six for more on that.

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Just do it.

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Don't compete.

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Your passion isn't competition.

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In performance and creative spaces,

sometimes just sharing your joy

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for comedy is seen as something to

be jealous of, or to compete with.

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And I'm asking, if you see someone in your

life, innocently sharing their passion

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for their work, something they did.

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Let them talk a bit about it.

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It's not necessarily bragging or showing

off or something to be jealous of.

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It probably has nothing to do with you.

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That project or set could have

been difficult, hard won, A big

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accomplishment for that person and

maybe they just have been waiting

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all week to have the topic brought

up so they could share it a little.

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Maybe you are the only person

they can talk shop with.

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So check egos at the door on both

sides of this kind of conversation.

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But mostly just try to keep in mind

someone else's joy and comedy and their

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accomplishments are not your competition.

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And your wins aren't for them

to mentally compete with.

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Life is so much easier with this.

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Kind of mindset, I find.

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Find your humans who don't

compete with your joy and value

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you for who you are as a human.

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And everyone, just cheer

on those hard wins.

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There's so Hard wins are hard to come

by in comedy, so let's cheer them on.

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Suggestion five.

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Ignore the gatekeepers

and find your confidence.

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The latter isn't real, unless you

want to believe in the latter.

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This is an art.

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There are so many ways to do it,

and there isn't a set criteria on

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how to get there, how long it takes,

or what way you need to do it.

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And, gasp, you don't need to

be a cishet white man to climb

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it or seek proper compensation.

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Actually, you don't need to climb

it at all if you don't want to.

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You don't have to believe in the latter.

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Sure, yes, there is knowledge,

expertise, and experience.

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Absolutely respect worthy.

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I respect that so much.

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I mean, autism, you respect knowledge and

intelligence and expertise and everything.

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But it's also about.

339

:: 20:26

You, the human, in all of your atypical

glory, with all of your prior acquired

340

:: 20:32

skill sets, your unique voice, your

experiences in comedy and other

341

:: 20:39

places, and talents too, they're

very relevant in this space as well,

342

:: 20:43

and you deserve to offer them to,

and you deserve respect for them.

343

:: 20:48

So, you are walking the walk.

344

:: 20:51

What now?

345

:: 20:53

You're doing the work.

346

:: 20:54

You found your people.

347

:: 20:56

Remember that gatekeepers will

gatekeep for mysterious reasons.

348

:: 21:00

Sometimes even when they purport

to be on the same team and

349

:: 21:03

value the same stuff as you.

350

:: 21:05

Pay the gatekeepers no heed.

351

:: 21:08

They will always be there.

352

:: 21:10

Stay true to yourself.

353

:: 21:13

Be honest to your craft and march

on that path that you believe in.

354

:: 21:18

As long as damage isn't being done.

355

:: 21:21

That atypical path you make for you

is right for comedy and right for you.

356

:: 21:27

Keep your eyes and mind open with honesty

and respect in your heart, but walk or

357

:: 21:34

strut that path with your head held high.

358

:: 21:37

Confidence is hard.

359

:: 21:41

Finding confidence in the arts

is remarkably hard, especially

360

:: 21:45

now, especially when you might

be alone because, you know,

361

:: 21:49

marginalized, isolated, whatever.

362

:: 21:51

How do you even know what

you're doing is a walk at all?

363

:: 21:55

But you deserve to be here and do

comedy, even if you haven't found

364

:: 22:00

where you want to be quite yet.

365

:: 22:02

Even if someone is jealous of your hard

work, or someone else doesn't think

366

:: 22:07

you're doing comedy the typical correct

way, or come up with some other reason

367

:: 22:11

you shouldn't be doing what you're

doing, you still deserve to do comedy.

368

:: 22:17

You are always enough.

369

:: 22:19

And your voice is

valuable, and it matters.

370

:: 22:22

There is no comedy god, even if

there's some compelling educational

371

:: 22:27

branding and emotional tithes to pay.

372

:: 22:32

Suggestion six.

373

:: 22:34

Protect your value.

374

:: 22:36

I'm saying this from the standpoint

of over a couple decades in

375

:: 22:40

corporate tech and online creative

work as opposed to comedy.

376

:: 22:43

It's the same in that space as

it often is in comedy, from what

377

:: 22:48

I've observed from the comedic

sidelines, comparatively speaking.

378

:: 22:53

Your value isn't tied to your

experience level in comedy.

379

:: 22:57

If you're doing other work,

such as stuff that supports the

380

:: 23:01

industry, that brings in cash.

381

:: 23:04

Money's trading hands.

382

:: 23:05

You quite likely bring much

more than your comedy skills to

383

:: 23:09

the table when you're working.

384

:: 23:10

If money is exchanging hands, you

are worth compensation for the task

385

:: 23:14

that you're doing, not based on your

skill level in comedy or where you

386

:: 23:18

are in some imaginary social order.

387

:: 23:21

Financial promises or anything

else you might be shooting for,

388

:: 23:25

acceptance, respect, exposure, etc.

389

:: 23:28

are not likely to materialize down the

road if you're working for free today.

390

:: 23:35

Suggestion seven, communicate

openly and in good faith.

391

:: 23:39

Make sure you're acting in good faith.

392

:: 23:41

Check in with yourself.

393

:: 23:43

What's your motivation in

whatever issue is happening?

394

:: 23:46

Be honest.

395

:: 23:48

Do you want more stage time to correct

an honest problem, get someone off

396

:: 23:51

the team you just don't vibe with,

or improve the ethics of a community?

397

:: 23:56

Even in the name of disability and

inclusion, it's very easy to forget

398

:: 24:00

people are from different backgrounds,

different places on a spectrum, or

399

:: 24:04

just don't have the knowledge in

something that is obvious to you.

400

:: 24:08

Do we understand the motivation

behind the trait, for example?

401

:: 24:11

Do we understand that person's

background, culture, education,

402

:: 24:14

upbringing, when they were upbrought?

403

:: 24:16

Level of exposure to new

social norms, for example?

404

:: 24:20

Are we giving them that space?

405

:: 24:22

Listen and take necessary breaks.

406

:: 24:26

Have patience, educate and explain.

407

:: 24:29

Listen and stay in good faith.

408

:: 24:32

It's very easy and honestly

quite understandable for passion

409

:: 24:36

to get in the way of fairness.

410

:: 24:38

Performers are often a passionate lot.

411

:: 24:40

That's good.

412

:: 24:41

But we have to try and not let bad faith

occur and instead Listen hard and learn.

413

:: 24:49

Listen without returning

to previous assumptions.

414

:: 24:52

Listen to the explanation and don't

ignore it to return to an original

415

:: 24:56

point, an initial take or belief.

416

:: 25:00

Take the explanations you hear

as good faith unless and until

417

:: 25:04

you have good reason to believe

something is not in good faith.

418

:: 25:08

Ask questions, listen more.

419

:: 25:11

Taking breaks to check in with

yourself is good too, and do fight

420

:: 25:15

for improving our communities.

421

:: 25:17

Just make sure to keep the conversations

fair to everyone involved, maintain

422

:: 25:22

good faith conversations, and be honest

at all times for a beneficial outcome.

423

:: 25:26

Avoiding diagnoses and labels

based on behaviours is important.

424

:: 25:31

Since this is a NeuroDivergent

series, I think this is probably

425

:: 25:35

important to mention right now.

426

:: 25:37

Be cautious of using labels or

diagnoses when discussing these issues.

427

:: 25:42

People can be complicated.

428

:: 25:44

Internal motivations, such as

what motivated the display of an

429

:: 25:48

external trait, among many other

things, need to be considered before

430

:: 25:53

a formal diagnosis can be made.

431

:: 25:55

biomedical professional.

432

:: 25:57

For example, two people can seem to

lack empathy as an external trait,

433

:: 26:03

that's something that you see.

434

:: 26:04

Only one of those two humans might

actually lack empathy though,

435

:: 26:08

although both seem to on the outside.

436

:: 26:12

So determining where that external trait

is coming from, that isn't our job.

437

:: 26:16

Motivations are usually unknown to us.

438

:: 26:19

And any kind of diagnosis is not

appropriate to ask about when

439

:: 26:22

holding community discussions.

440

:: 26:24

For example, an external trait can be

shared amongst several diagnoses and the

441

:: 26:28

diagnostic manual, the DSM, even a batch

of them can span more than one diagnoses.

442

:: 26:35

But the internal motivators, like I

said, are One of the most important

443

:: 26:38

criteria for figuring out what the

diagnosis is, among many other factors.

444

:: 26:42

Again, I am not a professional.

445

:: 26:44

I'll do one more case here.

446

:: 26:45

Neurodivergent humans are sometimes

thought to be under the influence of

447

:: 26:48

alcohol when we're completely sober.

448

:: 26:51

Same external trait.

449

:: 26:52

completely different

internal or invisible cause.

450

:: 26:56

That's why it's really important

not to make those assumptions here.

451

:: 26:58

So of course punishing someone in the

community for their diagnosis or a crisis

452

:: 27:03

or something else or forcing them to

expose the cause, that's not great either.

453

:: 27:07

So we want to avoid these things and

be very careful about assuming any

454

:: 27:12

kind of root cause for an external

behavior or an external trait.

455

:: 27:17

Focus on the results of an action

and what needs to change to make our

456

:: 27:23

spaces more beneficial to everyone.

457

:: 27:26

So be cautious about making

those assumptions about what

458

:: 27:30

might be seen as problematic

behaviors without open thinking.

459

:: 27:33

and careful communication.

460

:: 27:35

Again, have the conversation.

461

:: 27:38

There's so much crap and abuse and

old ways and comedy amongst everything

462

:: 27:43

else, and we really need to have

these discussions to see the growth.

463

:: 27:47

So talk, listen, and try to

meet each other in and maintain

464

:: 27:52

good faith conversations.

465

:: 27:54

Check in.

466

:: 27:55

With our personal motivations, honestly

and regularly, notice them and communicate

467

:: 28:01

openly while focusing on ourselves and our

own motivations, keeping them in check.

468

:: 28:07

If the discussion is shut down

or avoided, you don't have

469

:: 28:10

to stay in that environment.

470

:: 28:12

You don't have to finish the

series or stick with the theater.

471

:: 28:15

You don't have to start your

own theater to stay in comedy.

472

:: 28:18

There's a million different

avenues that you can take.

473

:: 28:21

But I hope community discussions

can start in good faith and maintain

474

:: 28:26

that honesty and happen more often.

475

:: 28:29

I know I was repetitive there,

but that's so important.

476

:: 28:32

I think, you know, it's maybe worth it.

477

:: 28:34

I hope you agree.

478

:: 28:38

Suggestion eight, ask for

or seek accommodations.

479

:: 28:43

Speak up and ask for accommodations

and access needs in any way you

480

:: 28:47

feel comfortable when you need them.

481

:: 28:49

If you're not comfortable, ask

for a different way to communicate

482

:: 28:52

that does make you comfortable.

483

:: 28:54

Maybe it's using an anonymous form or

messaging from an anonymous email address

484

:: 28:58

or getting someone else to do it for you.

485

:: 29:00

Seeking accommodations helps

normalize it for your future

486

:: 29:04

self and for other people too.

487

:: 29:07

And it's really important in this section

to talk about advocating for other people.

488

:: 29:12

If you Don't need accommodations made,

you're lucky, or you're in a place, uh,

489

:: 29:17

to suggest them or make them a reality.

490

:: 29:19

Maybe you're running the

theater or something, do it.

491

:: 29:22

It's wonderful for those of us with access

needs to not have to do the labor of self

492

:: 29:27

advocating to seek them all the time.

493

:: 29:30

This is a true ally, actually

walking the walk with us and for us.

494

:: 29:35

Helping us out.

495

:: 29:37

For example, add a text area on

your registration form to add access

496

:: 29:41

needs without needing to be asked

for this by someone in the community.

497

:: 29:44

Your improv friend has difficulty

with a certain icebreaker.

498

:: 29:47

Suggest a different one

without outing them.

499

:: 29:50

Don't mention their name.

500

:: 29:52

Some of the things are as simple as that.

501

:: 29:54

Don't wait to be asked.

502

:: 29:56

Don't leave all the advocacy

to the marginalized.

503

:: 29:59

That's the key thing.

504

:: 30:00

If you can do it, do it.

505

:: 30:02

And even when things

get more serious, like.

506

:: 30:05

Say there's a problematic

coach or teacher.

507

:: 30:06

Speak up or support the discussion

for the person that's experiencing

508

:: 30:10

that problem, as highlighted in the

previous suggestion number seven.

509

:: 30:15

But sometimes there's

conflicting access needs.

510

:: 30:19

If you ask for something to be

accommodated by an individual,

511

:: 30:22

especially, see if that adjustment

works for their needs too.

512

:: 30:26

Sometimes we might need to tackle

the accommodation from both sides.

513

:: 30:30

If that adjustment places

stress on that person's end,

514

:: 30:33

you might have some conflicting.

515

:: 30:35

Access needs that you need to work out,

but there's often ways to work within

516

:: 30:39

the bounds of both parties needs open to

discussion and figure out something that

517

:: 30:43

works and These conflicting access needs

it can be true in group environments as

518

:: 30:49

well such as classes and theaters the

more people the more conflict But if

519

:: 30:52

we're open to working together oftentimes,

we can make some changes that benefit

520

:: 30:57

a greater number of humans over time.

521

:: 31:02

Suggestion nine, analyze where value comes

from, especially if you're depressed.

522

:: 31:09

So, I'm a dysthymic human.

523

:: 31:11

For me, that means mild to

moderate depression since I was 12.

524

:: 31:16

Persistent depression is common

for autistic humans, and depressed

525

:: 31:19

humans, neurodivergent or not,

are also not uncommon in comedy.

526

:: 31:24

I know there's a lot of us here.

527

:: 31:26

So I'm giving this topic a

suggestion all of its own.

528

:: 31:28

Number 9 is for us.

529

:: 31:30

Try to find the value in the activity.

530

:: 31:33

Doing comedy.

531

:: 31:33

Wow.

532

:: 31:35

You're doing it.

533

:: 31:36

This is especially true, or so I've

been told, if you experience dysthymia.

534

:: 31:41

So what does that mean?

535

:: 31:43

It means don't try to find happiness

in what others think of your comedy.

536

:: 31:48

Like how good you are at it.

537

:: 31:50

Don't try to find happiness in

what your comedy or the comedy

538

:: 31:53

work provides other people.

539

:: 31:55

Like proving your value to

others, making yourself useful.

540

:: 31:59

Don't try to find happiness in the project

itself being done well or to your liking.

541

:: 32:04

Like I wrote the perfect pilot and the

great font don't use the project as

542

:: 32:10

that external validator That's hard

find value or happiness in the process

543

:: 32:16

itself during creation of the comedy

What doing the activity brings to you.

544

:: 32:23

You're looking for what that is.

545

:: 32:25

If you look to the external, like

the output, the project itself,

546

:: 32:29

or other people for approval,

yes, even the project or activity

547

:: 32:34

itself, it can potentially keep you

in that depressed dysthymic state.

548

:: 32:41

Why?

549

:: 32:43

Because you're still looking to that

external thing, like the improv set or

550

:: 32:45

your finished podcast episode for joy.

551

:: 32:48

And that's just not going to help

you out because it's external.

552

:: 32:51

Some of it can be external, but some of

it has to be internal from the activity.

553

:: 32:56

Make sure you get value while you perform.

554

:: 32:59

While you take the class, while you

socialize after the set, the act of

555

:: 33:05

doing comedy while you're spending your

minutes and hours doing it should be

556

:: 33:08

beneficial to your life in some way, not

the end thing that you get out of it.

557

:: 33:15

And if not, don't be afraid to say no

and pivot until you do find something

558

:: 33:20

that gives value to your life while

you perform, while you do the thing.

559

:: 33:24

It doesn't have to be everything,

but it has to be something.

560

:: 33:27

Me, I'm still working on this.

561

:: 33:29

It's hard.

562

:: 33:30

It's so fucking hard.

563

:: 33:35

And finally, suggestion 10,

value your mental health.

564

:: 33:41

Value it like your life depends

on it above all other things.

565

:: 33:47

Do whatever you need to keep

your mental health as good as

566

:: 33:50

you possibly can, whatever that

is, whatever it means to you.

567

:: 33:56

We all know improv is not therapy,

comedy is not therapy, so we need

568

:: 34:01

to make sure we walk that walk and

find outside help when we need it.

569

:: 34:08

Or, take that much needed break.

570

:: 34:11

Because things like

autistic burnout are deadly.

571

:: 34:14

So is depression, and so is

loneliness and isolation.

572

:: 34:17

Well, it can be.

573

:: 34:18

Uh, and especially if you won

the lottery on all of the above.

574

:: 34:23

It can be deadly.

575

:: 34:24

Couple that with improv stress and you

might light the fuse to a powder keg.

576

:: 34:28

And that's no good.

577

:: 34:29

No one wants that.

578

:: 34:31

If you experience any of those

conditions, protect yourself, whatever

579

:: 34:35

way you need, whatever you do, whatever

practice or art form or hobby, it's

580

:: 34:39

not worth taking you seriously.

581

:: 34:41

Away.

582

:: 34:42

And of course, as a reminder,

these activities are not therapy.

583

:: 34:46

It's not where you want

to be working this out.

584

:: 34:47

You want to work it out

with a professional.

585

:: 34:49

Anyways, that's why I made these

suggestions for myself to check in, to be

586

:: 34:55

my own advocate for myself, advocate for

yourself as much as you do for others.

587

:: 35:01

Or more.

588

:: 35:02

Because the others might not have

your back when you need it most.

589

:: 35:07

Just call a friend or a family, they say.

590

:: 35:10

And so many of us autistics give that

response the lifelong side A, right?

591

:: 35:14

Other humans are hard to rely on.

592

:: 35:16

So have your own back

preemptively, if you can.

593

:: 35:20

You know yourself best.

594

:: 35:22

Try to take this shit into your

own hands and own it, if you can.

595

:: 35:28

And always remember, people who seem

okay on the outside are sometimes not.

596

:: 35:33

Especially when we're doing

comedy and acting and performing

597

:: 35:36

and masking our own autism.

598

:: 35:39

We can sometimes be pretty good at

covering this stuff up until we're not.

599

:: 35:44

So check in on your friends if you

got them and let them check in on you.

600

:: 35:50

So try to take care of yourself.

601

:: 35:53

Try to take care of your mind, that

beautiful neurodivergent mind of

602

:: 35:57

yours and try to take care of others.

603

:: 35:59

Support what you value in the

community to keep it there for

604

:: 36:03

you and for others for longer.

605

:: 36:07

Support those people who value you

over the system and being seen.

606

:: 36:13

Value yourself, not the latter.

607

:: 36:17

Stick with those who value

you, not what you might be

608

:: 36:21

able to do for them, you know?

609

:: 36:24

But what do I know?

610

:: 36:25

I'm just some random autistic who

doesn't understand social stuff or

611

:: 36:28

people, so take everything I just said

with an extra large grain of salt.

612

:: 36:34

I have no idea if my time of

duress brought any clarity.

613

:: 36:38

Maybe this whole list of

suggestions is a great big mess.

614

:: 36:42

But I will end on that

human note, actually.

615

:: 36:45

This list of suggestions was originally

written on a dark day of mine in

616

:: 36:49

the middle of a four year autistic

burnout and significant depression.

617

:: 36:53

After the dark, I sometimes have a

little bit more clarity on this tough

618

:: 36:56

stuff, so I kept what I wrote in case

it was true this time around, and

619

:: 37:02

it was this list of suggestions, and

I'll let you decide on that part.

620

:: 37:08

But I thought about these things a lot

in the weeks that followed that day.

621

:: 37:12

I maybe even started to heal a little bit.

622

:: 37:15

And then, of course, another really

major crisis unfolded in my life.

623

:: 37:19

My biggest one yet in life,

in all of my years, which have

624

:: 37:22

contained some pretty big ones.

625

:: 37:25

And it unfolded as I was sitting at

what I thought was the bottom Of my

626

:: 37:29

depression ravine and all of this

has happened whilst mostly alone

627

:: 37:33

after just losing most of my Special

interest community of humans and work.

628

:: 37:37

I loved and activities for a second

time in the past four years Thank you

629

:: 37:42

ongoing pandemic, which is all to say

how important it is to be proactive

630

:: 37:47

about this kind of mental stuff.

631

:: 37:50

Don't push Protecting your brain to

another day or another week start

632

:: 37:55

taking care of yourself today If

you aren't or just try If you can.

633

:: 38:01

Even if you do a little, it might help

when the next big thing comes your way.

634

:: 38:06

I think my little bit of healing,

maybe, maybe, helped me in the

635

:: 38:11

early days of this crisis of mine.

636

:: 38:15

But like, don't do a

crisis to have clarity.

637

:: 38:19

Hell no!

638

:: 38:20

Of course not!

639

:: 38:22

But it's good to analyze your situation

when you can in whatever state you're in.

640

:: 38:28

Different states afford

different perspectives.

641

:: 38:30

So use What you got.

642

:: 38:34

And that's all.

643

:: 38:35

So there you go.

644

:: 38:37

I don't know how this episode

and article will come off.

645

:: 38:40

Relatable, complaining, full

of misery, or angry, or too

646

:: 38:43

vulnerable, or too this, or too that.

647

:: 38:45

But I want to assure you, I'm not angry.

648

:: 38:48

I don't want to complain, and would

very much dislike any form of pity.

649

:: 38:53

But at any rate, I'm not angry.

650

:: 38:55

Some of you won't be happy you're like

this, I guess, and I'm okay with that,

651

:: 38:59

because I've enjoyed working on it, and

I'm trying to refuse to define success

652

:: 39:04

or purpose from the project itself in my

attempt to be a little bit less dysthymic.

653

:: 39:09

Suggestion 9, baby.

654

:: 39:11

But I should say, in transparency,

this whole podcast is not

655

:: 39:15

my comfort zone by a mile.

656

:: 39:17

It's scary and ridiculously uncomfortable

to be this vulnerable, even though it's

657

:: 39:22

a small niche podcast not heard by many.

658

:: 39:25

Even when I do the mundane ones, it's

still really hard to be this vulnerable,

659

:: 39:29

but I'm going to be honest with you

no matter what, because honesty is

660

:: 39:33

the only thing that works here when

we're talking about improving our own

661

:: 39:36

minds, communities, and communication.

662

:: 39:39

And this podcast is just from

now on, at least going to be

663

:: 39:42

about what I want to talk about.

664

:: 39:44

As a recently passed middle age

autistic ADHD human with roving intense

665

:: 39:49

interests, I've been formally trained

in and embedded in many communities

666

:: 39:53

on a fairly comprehensive scale.

667

:: 39:56

And from that I can say, comedy

is a wildly strange community.

668

:: 40:02

It's a beast of its own, despite giving,

you know, retro Silicon Valley vibes.

669

:: 40:07

Let's keep our neurodivergent

minds safer here.

670

:: 40:12

And take care.

671

:: 40:15

All right.

672

:: 40:16

So that was our episode

number 22 for this week.

673

:: 40:20

Uh, as of now, and you may have

noticed, the podcast has a new name,

674

:: 40:24

Neurodivergent Minds in Comedy.

675

:: 40:27

But the podcast and the Neurodiversity

in Improv site covers the same kind of

676

:: 40:30

stuff, just with a slightly greater focus

on neurodivergence and a slightly wider

677

:: 40:35

lens to performance and writing in comedy.

678

:: 40:37

And as I mentioned, I'm

going to talk about just what

679

:: 40:39

interests me and what I like.

680

:: 40:41

To do in the name of dysthymia

suggestion number nine, the podcast

681

:: 40:45

on its own will have its own domain

and site neurodivergentcomedy.

682

:: 40:49

com and the current site and

bonus resources will remain the

683

:: 40:53

same and continue to be focused

on neurodiversity and improv.

684

:: 40:57

You can follow the releases of the

podcast and those bonus resources in

685

:: 41:01

the neurodiversity in improv newsletter.

686

:: 41:04

Or the one on Stereo Forest

if you just want the episodes.

687

:: 41:08

Podcast and bonus materials.

688

:: 41:11

The, I might schedule a bit of

a shift, it's pending at the

689

:: 41:14

time of recording this podcast.

690

:: 41:17

So, about the next episode.

691

:: 41:19

They're released about every second

week on Tuesdays or late on Mondays.

692

:: 41:23

And if I take any breaks or

pauses, I'll mention them in

693

:: 41:26

the show notes and the episodes.

694

:: 41:29

And finally, if you find this

podcast useful, consider sharing

695

:: 41:33

the episode with your friends.

696

:: 41:34

Transcribed And, or rate and

review on Apple podcasts.

697

:: 41:38

And if you're able to support

this work at neurodiversityimprov.

698

:: 41:42

com, especially if it helps

your work or adds value to your

699

:: 41:45

practice, it's really appreciated.

700

:: 41:47

Any of these things will help me

continue spending the time and the labor

701

:: 41:51

and the resources to keep it going.

702

:: 41:54

If you do become a paid supporter,

again, you get those special extra

703

:: 41:58

resources that might help your work

in comedy and gain insight about

704

:: 42:01

learning as a neurodivergent human.

705

:: 42:04

And it supports again,

this podcast, keep going.

706

:: 42:07

So surveys, I have surveys available.

707

:: 42:10

If you would like to share your voice with

others who listen to this podcast, you

708

:: 42:14

can find those surveys at stereoforest.

709

:: 42:17

com slash neurodiversity.

710

:: 42:20

I'd love to have your

insights, your voice.

711

:: 42:23

on this podcast.

712

:: 42:25

And finally I created

and I write this podcast.

713

:: 42:28

It's also edited and produced by

Stereo Forest, which is also me.

714

:: 42:32

All of these links and a few more

will be available in the show notes.

715

:: 42:38

Thanks.

716

:: 42:38

And I'll talk at you later.